Monday, March 06, 2006

namaste

Recently I went to my first yoga class. The instructor began by teaching us how to give ourselves a rest.

"Breath deeply and let your bodies settle into the mat."

I listened to my own breathing. I melted flat as wax.

Then the oddest thing happened. My eyes kept filling with tears.

‘What the fuck is wrong with you?’, I asked myself. ‘Are you insane? Stop it!’

But you know what it is? It's the beginning and the ending. The laying flat and breathing. It took me by surprise that first time. For me the in between only serves to build up your thirst for the end. Every muscle in my body shakes with fatigue. It's like a glass of chocolate milk after a peanut butter sandwich.

How crazy is that? I could lay flat and breath almost anywhere, but I don't I guess. I do lots of other things. Read, write, watch Law & Order, wash dishes, search for a needle in the Jdate haystack, clean up, think about what to wear tomorrow, pack my lunch, invent recipes, burn CDs, look things up, cook, think, think, think, shower, take a bath, wash the floor, talk on the phone, make lists, masturbate, sleep, worry, ruminate (ok that's just more thinking)...

Sometimes it is the simplest thing that is closest to perfect. It's even greater to be able to recognize it when it comes. Yoga gives me more than a good excuse to wear Lululemon. And trust me, I didn't need one.

8 comments:

Lx said...

ruminate doesn't have to be thinking. ask a horse or a cow. i talk to them all the time. but...all they do is smirk at me.

Rachel said...

thanks merriam

Lx said...

i've tried finding "peace" through yoga, but i find that as soon as i start 'breathing' the fucking demons begin to rumble and get restless.

for me, what works is a good five fingers of gin and a Pall Mall.

go figure.

Rachel said...

I'm jealous - I haven't had a cigarette in over a year.

For me I think I just like laying on the floor... I think it reminds me of preschool - naptime.

Lx said...

i have just recently taken up the Evil Thing again, after not touching it for 6 yrs. I got the green light from The Missus as my little one is traversing The Terrible Twos and my fucking mind is being slowly pulverized by her whining. The Missus' I mean. Har-har/

RONIN said...

Meditation does the trick for me. I've told nathaniel that Buddhists call the mind "the mad monkey". As in, the mad monkey never stops babbling.

One of the chief benefits of meditation is that you can put the mad monkey back in his cage for a while...

Rachel said...

And I bet you nathaniel doesn't listen. I hear his madmonkey was acting up last night...

Lx said...

it can't be quiet for me.
that's the dangerous time.
i'm like hunter s. thompson.
i even sleep with noise on.
when i can sleep.