Saturday, April 30, 2005

on running away to join the circus

It wasn't as good as I hoped - hearing Simon's voice. I called him and left a message. He called me back. We talked and the conversation was ok but slightly uncomfortable, much like the last. What if I like the idea of you more than I like you? Don't I deserve to have someone who is crazy about me?

If I keep getting this strange vibe, forget it. I feel like I am wasting energy. I just don't get it. Why bother playing with my hair for hours? Holding me? Staying over? Leaving to move your car in the morning and coming back when it would have been easy to leave? Calling me the next day to say you had a good time? Writing long (and semi-impersonal) emails? Returning my call promptly, only to have a semi-impersonal and slightly boring conversation?

If it is because you feel bad, please stop. I have been and always will be fine. I am ready to fall in love, but not this way. Not like this.

2 comments:

Pope Benedict XVI said...

Don't join the circus. Join a convent.

Rachel said...

Thanks Your Excellency, but I'm Jewish.