Monday, November 28, 2005

open doors


Nothing closes right on me. The seal isn't tight. I am not just talking in metaphor here. My mother always told me I needed to learn how to keep my mouth shut, for one. Then there's my heart. No big deal, it just comes with doors that don't shut properly. I know my mind certainly never shuts down, even through teeth grinding sleep, but neither does it produce clean, distinct thoughts. This is my nature. I am built to flow freely, contrary to all of the best training. I am not to be held back.

Two important things to discuss:

1) I am about to embark on a 3 1/2 week holiday to the other side of the planet
2) Today is my blog's first birthday.

Just in case something happens to me while I am away, or my life changes, I want to appreciate this moment. This very minute - not going to bed, even though I know I will be tired tomorrow, writing with the television on in the background, eating peanut butter and banana. Life moves quickly and is unpredictable. Despite all of the complaints and angst, and often because of the angst, I want to live. I love to live this imperfect life. I love every single ion. Good and bad and everything in between. I love the grey, even when I can't handle it. Bring it on.

Writing makes living tolerable. I will continue to do it in some form always, with or without readers, but I would like to thank all of you who visit my site. Thanks for the kind words, for good advice, for making me think, and for making me laugh.

I leave in a few days. My anxiety level is on the high side. I may post while I am away - just not sure of the logistics. I will most certainly post when I am back.

6 comments:

Lx said...

safe travels.
watch out for:
avian flu
sars
tsunamis
crazy Romanians wielding machetes
sweaty Greeks frying cow brains
evil swans
close talkers on airplanes
ANY KIND OF TALKERS on airplanes
toddlers named Butch
anyone with the initials: a m p
italians driving rusty fiats

safe travels, you! and happy holidays.

ChapFu said...

happy birthday to your blog. mine just passed the one year mark a few weeks ago. i'm a crappy parent. i forgot.

i hope your travels fill you with energy and ground you in a place that toronto often insulates. and have fun. fun is good.

Rachel said...

You boys are so sweet, I almost want to take you with me. Happy Holidays to you too. I will look forward to updating myself on your lives when I get back. I will still be around for the next few days so you aren't rid of me yet.

RONIN said...

I forgot about my one-year-in-the-blogosphere anniversary too. AMPs was the best though: he posted a picture of a woman in a gold suit displaying a toilet seat!

Anyway, have fun over there! Try to relax and enjoy yourself. And take lots of pictures. I always find that I'm more attuned to the environment when I've got a camera in my hands...

Rachel said...

No question Ronin - I agree. Thanks!

Lx said...

yeh. it was a(n) urinal. it was a fabulous picture. and it was coincidental, if i remember correctly. i don't keep info. such as one-year-blog-anniversaries in my hard head. don't have much room for that. but the picture was somehow apropos.