Tuesday, January 11, 2005

seashells

Like New Years Eve was not meant to turn out despite all of my plans, I am organizing my final clinical grad school placement, and it seems that no amount of planning will ease me away from the one place I didn't want to go - back to the first place I worked as a new nurse. Sometimes fate seems undeniable. Like my classmate said to me today, maybe this is my chance to go back and leave feeling good. There are also some undeniable advantages to the area of practice. I am drawn to the situations and circumstances of the families you see in critical care. I find myself drawing on these experiences, looking at ways of re-conceptualizing care. My hope was to be in a new area that made me want to be in the hospital setting the way I thought I wanted to in the beginning. Sometimes the best thing to do is ride the wave and see where it takes you. I only hope that this wave is smooth and gentle, leaving only seashells and seaweed, not destruction, in its wake.

2 comments:

brown-eyed girl said...

Hi. I just read your entire blog. It was cool and interesting. Let me tell you something. You were talking about the period when you were afraid of everything. I went through something similar when I was in high school. I was paralysed by fears for years. It was a really hard time for me. I was terrified that when I got on a plane a terrorist would throw me out of the plane. I was always sure that I was mentally ill, that I had cancer or Aids or some deadly disease. Thank God that time is over! Anyways. I could really relate to a lot of the things you said. The name of my blog is The Sky is Gorgeous.

Rachel said...

Thanks for your comment. I believe that it is the "thinkers" among us that tend to...well...think too much. Maybe that makes us prone to anxiety etc..., but I also think it makes us creative if we can muster up the courage. I look forward to reading your blog. Have a great night!