Sunday, June 04, 2006

sunday shake-up

Another Sunday. I spent the day biking with a new prospect. Kind of cute and romantic story behind the meeting, but I'll save that for another time, or never. We stopped for lunch and later for coffee. Now I am home and I want to knock myself out. I just need to unplug myself, close up shop for the night, even though it's only 9 PM. It's like I know the weekend is over, so I figure let's not draw it out any further. Then my mother calls me to tell me my brother's girlfriend read in the paper that my sister's ex-husband and his second wife just had a baby boy. My heart sank for what could have been - not for my sister and the ex - he was a miserable human being and I'm glad he has nothing to do with us, but timewise, what could have been. That lead me to dangerous territory - to consider what most people have already done by the time they reach they're early thirties. I just spent my day with a guy who's fun, intelligent, talented, and cute, but our moral and idealogical differences are so drastic I can already see that we would always be trying to change each another and that can't be good. And so this is tonight's reason that I want to knock myself out. There's always somthing. I'm trying not to imagine what this week will bring. Another wedding, lots of wedding talk, and....STOP-

You know what? Maybe I'm going to plan my future this week. Maybe by Jan 1, 2007 I will be somewhere else, living out a new adventure. Maybe I won't be sitting around waiting for things to happen. Perhaps I will be in Vegas with a lead role in "Celine" (no not really). Bienvenito a Miami? Perhaps. How 'bout Texas? I like long horns. How about North Carolina? GO HURRICANESS GO (LX and Ronin paid me to say that). How 'bout California? I know! Fuck CUPE, maybe I'll move to Israel. How about Yellowknife (that's a definite no - I'm sure the tundra is beautiful but cold weather is not good for me). If I could speak Spanish I would live in Costa Rica or Panama for a year. Or Argentina. Or Mexico.

Do I have the balls to pick up and leave again? That's the first question. Is that really what I want to do? Another equally important question. Someone important (?) or probably many people have said that nothing good happens without taking a risk. Maybe that's what I need to do. Let's shake this shit up.

But first, I'm going to bed.


Lx said...

no we didn't. neither one of us have any idea what hockey is.
(choose Mexico. i know a nice little joint on the Pacific coast that serves lobster and makes the best margaritas)

Rachel said...

Give in to the power that is hockey. Just give in, it's ok.

Lx said...

i refuse to align myself with a mullet-sporting majority fan base.

p.s. getting married and having children isn't really that much of an achievement in one's life. trailer park rednecks/other assorted vermin are in that position and i wouldn't consider that feat too high on my list.

The Fed Ex of Funk said...

Didn't Harvey Danger say he's been around the world and found that only stupid people are breeding? With that attitude, pretty soon they'll be the only ones left.

Lx said...

i take it you're talking about Harvey Danger the comic, not the band.