Another Sunday. I spent the day biking with a new prospect. Kind of cute and romantic story behind the meeting, but I'll save that for another time, or never. We stopped for lunch and later for coffee. Now I am home and I want to knock myself out. I just need to unplug myself, close up shop for the night, even though it's only 9 PM. It's like I know the weekend is over, so I figure let's not draw it out any further. Then my mother calls me to tell me my brother's girlfriend read in the paper that my sister's ex-husband and his second wife just had a baby boy. My heart sank for what could have been - not for my sister and the ex - he was a miserable human being and I'm glad he has nothing to do with us, but timewise, what could have been. That lead me to dangerous territory - to consider what most people have already done by the time they reach they're early thirties. I just spent my day with a guy who's fun, intelligent, talented, and cute, but our moral and idealogical differences are so drastic I can already see that we would always be trying to change each another and that can't be good. And so this is tonight's reason that I want to knock myself out. There's always somthing. I'm trying not to imagine what this week will bring. Another wedding, lots of wedding talk, and....STOP-
You know what? Maybe I'm going to plan my future this week. Maybe by Jan 1, 2007 I will be somewhere else, living out a new adventure. Maybe I won't be sitting around waiting for things to happen. Perhaps I will be in Vegas with a lead role in "Celine" (no not really). Bienvenito a Miami? Perhaps. How 'bout Texas? I like long horns. How about North Carolina? GO HURRICANESS GO (LX and Ronin paid me to say that). How 'bout California? I know! Fuck CUPE, maybe I'll move to Israel. How about Yellowknife (that's a definite no - I'm sure the tundra is beautiful but cold weather is not good for me). If I could speak Spanish I would live in Costa Rica or Panama for a year. Or Argentina. Or Mexico.
Do I have the balls to pick up and leave again? That's the first question. Is that really what I want to do? Another equally important question. Someone important (?) or probably many people have said that nothing good happens without taking a risk. Maybe that's what I need to do. Let's shake this shit up.
But first, I'm going to bed.