Today was a perfect blend of working hard, slacking off, playing tennis, and talking to my friends. My tennis pro and I know someone in common and he asked me if I too thought this girl was really "sweet". She is one of those people who finds saying 'fuck' really awkward. I agreed that she was sweet and then he said,
"You... now you have a bit of a trouble making streak in you, don't you?" I responded with my thumb and forefinger about an inch apart,
"just a streak".
I only met him last week and our conversation has been limited to grips and serves, but he was right. I do, and I was so happy to be me at that moment. I guess I am glad to have a flash of interesting. I am drawn to it in others. It is all in the eyes, and I could feel it in mine today.
The day changed course later and I find myself trying to shake a bad feeling. I spent most of the night glued to the television, uninspired and unproductive. I have screened every single phone call. I feel like smoking, and I haven't felt like that in months. I won't though.
Instead I will eat frozen yogurt with sliced bananas, feel some relief having written something (even if it isn't much), watch a little more tv, set my alarms (plural), and then spend some quality time alone in my bed...