Monday, September 05, 2005

objectivity

I am the proverbial intelligent, attractive 31 year old woman that feels like she may have missed the relationship boat.

Through high school and university I was always in a relationship. Since I moved to the big city at 23 I have been single. My initial goal was to experience being just me at first. Then it became about fear and I started on the path of least resistance.

I was still ok because I had great friends and a lot of fun, but now I have endured too many waves of friends engaged, married, house-hunting, and baby-making. I am at my limit. My friends and my therapist aren't enough anymore. It would be so nice to share a bed, the rent, the weekend, the future. I spent the last 8 years not trying. I have dated lots but I haven found few men that I feel anything for. The couple of men that I thought might have potential still saw fucking as the object.

If I have to look at one more ring or house...

Unless they are mine, I am just not interested.

2 comments:

ChapFu said...

well said. i'd further add that i'd rather become a recluse mountain-man than have another "group-outing" that involves any number of couples, and me.

Rachel said...

I completely agree! Sometimes I feel like the reason it isn't fun is because of me - I have somehow lost the ability to have fun.

But it isn't me. A group of couples is mostly fun for the couples.