softening

Today at the hospital I felt pretty good. After a few days of listening and observing I was able to spend some therapeutic time with a Mom. I didn't say much, which was how I knew it went well. She did most of the talking and she certainly had a lot to talk about given the situation. I think part of my frustration has been that I have been a passive observer up until now (that and the PTSD). I was afraid the entire placement was going to be futile.

My stance with Simon is softening. I am probably a sucker. I am in no rush to respond, but now I am thinking that perhaps I should continue contact. Back in March my friends invited me to go to Montreal at the end of May to meet up with another friend and I decided against saying anything to Simon before - I wanted to wait until closer to the trip to see where we were. Up until today I was thinking I would either go and not see him at all (which fits into the cutting off contact decision) or not go at all, which is frankly what I felt most like doing...until today. Now I am throwing around the notion of telling him and seeing him if he is interested. I guess that would tell me where this is going...