Wednesday, October 04, 2006

like this

In my dream I was somewhere on vacation with Carry, a controlling childhood friend. I told her I didn't feel like going along with her plans for the day and she yelled at me. I didn't back down. In fact, I yelled back - really told her how it would be. Then she completely lost it, told me it was over. Our friendship was done.

Crying, I left and called Josh for sympathy, only to my horror he told me he was done with me too. He said it was because I "get like this" too much and he had had enough.

I was inconsolable. No one could take it. No one could take me. Everything was gone and I was coming apart.

But then there was this man... We were in the shower and he was holding me, lathering my body in fresh smelling soap, his face resting on my shoulder, pressed into my neck.

***

When I woke up I thought of the boy on Oprah [accidentally typed opera] yesterday whose parents split up because they individually came to the conclusion that they were gay. Now they each have their own same sex partners and raise their children together. When asked if he had any advice for other people in similar situations, the boy said, "don’t be afraid to be yourself".