Sunday, June 05, 2005

does everything have a price?

Last night I had plans to go out for the first time in a while. Trying to fight late afternoon fatigue and get myself into the mood I set my ipod to a great playlist and started to get ready. My mother called. Even though she knew I was going out and that I had not been in the mood to go out much lately, she insisted on sharing really sad news about an acquaintance of the family. Let me clarify this is not someone I know well and I certainly did not need to know the information right at that moment. Clearly this news could have waited. What bothers me most about this is that my mother knows how easily I take things to heart and how much I have worked at not letting that kind of shit prevent me from living in the moment, yet she called me specifically to tell me that. Why would she do that?

"Thanks bad news Betty"

"What? I thought you should know"

I told her I had to go and hung up. Pushing away the guilt and worry that she or someone I love could be next, I pressed play and carried on.

My sexy new black pumps carried me out, down the street, to the subway, to the restaurant where my friends awaited, to the club, and home. I didn't give my mother's news a second thought. I felt good.

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