Monday, December 14, 2009


Saturday morning I woke up to a violent thunderstorm. I went out on my balcony and took a marble sized piece of hail that had pinged against my bike and put it in my freezer.

I went to the gym and ran for 45 minutes and then I met a guy I used to work with at Aroma later that day and because my plans for the night had fallen through and the last thing I wanted to do was laundry on a Saturday, I said yes to an invitation to dinner.

After dinner I invited him back to my place for more drinks but a little while later I wanted him to go. And I wanted more out of life.

Harry and his girlfriend had invited me to meet up with them later to go out dancing with their gay friends. I looked at the time and I knew they were already there. I wasn't convinced that in my condition I could make the transition or that I wanted to share my friend with his girlfriend.

Early the next morning I woke up thirsty, propped up in bed with my glasses and the bed side lamp on and I thought, fuck, I'm too much.

But this life is too much. Way too much to go about it completely unadulterated.


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