Thursday, November 01, 2007

listen all y'all it's a sabotage

Lately I feel as though I have aged 10 years, but yesterday I got a few of them back in just one click of a mouse. I booked a trip to London. Spending that much money and making a spur of the moment decision right now was difficult, but as soon as I did it I knew it was exactly what I needed to do.

In making that move something else came to me. I have two jobs. One in academia and one in a hospital. I don't talk a whole lot about my work here, especially the academic position— the one I've been in for several years—but what I will say is I haven't been getting enough out of it for a while now and something happened recently that closed the deal for me. On the one hand it was a, 'great, just icing on the shit cake that has been my life lately'-moment, but on the other hand it was an invitation to freedom.

And that's just it. The way that booking this flight made me feel also allowed me to see that the life as shit cake notion is really just a point of view. I'm not talking 'the secret' or some other Anthony Robbins self-help motto. I am merely saying that if a click of a mouse can reverse time for me or relax my ribcage to allow me to breath deeper, then shaking up my perspective a little more often and pushing through the discomfort that comes with that is worth it.

***

As I prepared this to post I found myself humming "criminal mind", by Gowan. Humming is a good sign. I'll give myself a break on the choice of song.

Which reminds me, last night a girlfriend of mine came over and we ordered sushi and drank wine and she showed me that my cable package provides free karaoke. Nothing like becoming the Beastie Boys over some good food and drink to wind down the day.

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