Killing time waiting for my spinning class to begin, I sat on the "courtesy couch" and looked at the phone. Who to call, who to call?
I dial Lana.
"Hello?"
"Hi, this is Jared calling from Spadina Fitness", I say in the deepest man-voice I can muster. My voice is already kind of low and raspy so it isn't that much of a stretch.
"I would like to invite you to return to our club by offering you the low rate of $50 dollars a month."
Pause. "Um, no. I've moved."
Ha! She's playing along.
"You wouldn't come back for a deal that good?"
"No."
"Ok", I stifle a laugh. "How 'bout this - if you come back, we'll pay YOU $50 dollars a month."
Silence.
"Lana!"
"Oh, shit! Rachel!"
"Are you kidding me? You were falling for it? Who the fuck would PAY you to come to their gym?"
"But you sound like such a man. Holy shit! JUST like a man!"
"Ha, well that's what I was going for", I tell her, suddenly a little self-conscious about how easily, for a girl, I can pass as a guy. "I gotta go. Class is starting in a minute."
"Too funny. Wait! Matt! Matt!", I hear her yell. "Pick up the phone. You gotta hear how much Rachel sounded like a-"
"Yeah, no. Shows over. Gotta go."
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8 comments:
yea.
when you left that voicemail i thought it was my boss, Frankie.
pa-dum-pum.
You can call me Frankie anytime, as long as I get to be the boss.
Oh dear, why don't you two already sleep with each other? With the constant flirting between you and El, it's obvious to all the readers that you're in him. Debra
oh chapfu will not be impressed what with the upcoming wedding and all.
yea but since it's technically BEFORE the wedding, all is well.
no sin committed.
It's even less of a problem now that Chapfu and I called it off. Not only could we not agree on a date, we couldn't agree on a SEASON.
...nor a color.
Splendid. An ill-advised practical joke that ends in genuine gender crisis. Take note funny people.
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