anatomy of the throat

On the first three dates with the otolaryngologist
Rain threatened and
I came equipped with an umbrella.
On our third date
I accidentally left my umbrella at the restaurant.
We stood outside and kissed and
The rain held off
So I didn't even notice.

You can always find
An umbrella outside the tenor's door
At the slightest chance of rain.
Never fails.
Lately it's been hard to leave his office.
See
It took a long time but
He knows me.
Now there's nothing much left to hide there.
All of this makes leaving him
And his umbrella hard.
The other day on my way out
I stopped outside his door.
I never stop.
I pick up my bag
Say, "have a nice day"
Close his door
Walk across the waiting room
And directly down the stairs.
But the other day
After I shut his door
I paused
Reached out
And touched the handle
Of his umbrella
lightly.

As I contemplate getting ready
For date number four
With the otolaryngologist
I find I lack motivation.
I sit on the couch
Still wet from running in the rain
With the rockstar
Who asked me to dinner.
"I have plans", I told him.
And wished I didn't.
Through my balcony doors
I see the rain is letting up.

Wearing my favourite pants
Dark grey cords
Jooocy
Couture
I leave my umbrella on the chair outside the kitchen
And walk out the door.
I sit at a table facing him
And I drink wine like medicine.
The room buzzes
Blurs.
On the way out of the bathroom we meet in the hall.
I pull him toward me.
Out of nowhere
I'm happy.
On the way up the stairs
He notices my charm bracelet.
I stop and turn to show him
The peace sign and what I think
Is a charm in the shape of the state of texas.
I love that -
A peace sign
And the state of texas.
But he's distracted
Looking past to see if anyone is trying to get by.
"Just keep going", he tells me
All business.
And then
Everything comes into focus again.