Friday, August 25, 2006

soft

I didn't sleep again - at all. I called in sick and I feel bad about it cause I never call in sick. My Aussie friend would probably call me a 'soft cock', but I couldn't face a day like that again. Finally, around 9:30 AM I fell into a fitful sleep.

I dreamt I rented one car and the rental company had mistakenly delivered a second car - a beige (?) ferrari. I had to return the cars and I decided to do that one at a time, as if driving two at once was an option. I turned the ferrari on with the automatic starter and it began to roll toward the back of the driveway - barrier-free access to a massive canyon. I grabbed onto the back spoiler and managed to stop the rolling for a moment, but then the spoiler tore off and the car went over the edge.

I had to call the car rental place and come clean about what I did. In the dream Shoshanna's father owned the rental company and so I had to explain myself first to the car rental agent, then Shoshanna, and then her father. The bulk of the dream was me explaining and apologizing, over and over and over.

After that I dreamt of a mouse the size of a small dog, with shaggy sand colored hair. It was vicious. It climbed up my leg, and I held it away from me with a hand to the head, the way I used to hold my sister away when she was pretending to try to bite me - palm to forehead while she snapped her jaw open and closed. Back then I would laugh so hard I would lose all of my strength, just barely able to to hold on.

That was what it was like with the mouse, only I wasn't laughing. I was weak with fear. I knew I had to break the mouse's neck. It was my only chance. I heard the neck snap and the mouse went slack. I carried the body down a hallway looking for a place to dispose of it. It occured to me that the body felt warmer than it should. I know how 'dead' feels, and this wasn't it. There I was holding it in my hand, fear rushing back in, replacing the sickening relief that came with the breaking of it's neck. Suddenly the mouse urinated in a large stream and I woke up sweating.

***

Anyway, hair and nails done, bags packed, I've got places to go. My vacation. Or should I say "vacation" (each of those quotation marks a wedding - Shoshanna's and my longest childhood friend's).

Farewell my friends. If all goes well (with both the flight and my emotional well-being), I'll be checking in - at least I'll be reading you and maybe even posting something of my own.

4 comments:

Lx said...

i am drunk on several martinis.
and i am watching "Munich" again.
and for some reason,
i thought of you.

mazeltov!

have a good trip.

Rachel said...

For some reason, huh?

L'chaim.

ChapFu said...

are we talking about isreal again? i feel so left out sometimes...

Lx said...

oh yea, sorry.
you know Munich.