I am sitting on my balcony smoking, writing, and watching the re-run of the first episode of Friends through my balcony door. It was a good one. Nostalgia always makes me sing that song, "Those were the days my friend, we thought they'd never end"... I don't even know where it is from.
I got an email from an old boyfriend recently, after 8 years. He found me somehow and wrote me one of those, "Is the same Rachel I used to know from..." It was such a shock to see his name in my inbox. I was terrified to open it. Since the initial catching up, we have just written back and forth periodically. He still makes me laugh. I feel like nothing has changed, yet everything has. Part of me misses him still. Isn't that crazy, after this long? I think the problem is that we didn't break up because it wasn't working, it was just that he was going away to school and we were too young to try to work it out to stay together or try to end up in the same place. I am glad it worked out the way it did, but I guess I still have this ideal notion of him.
Meanwhile, I am trying to make an effort to go out, agree to set-ups etc... Looking for a Jewish guy further limits the selection. I am going on a date this weekend with the funny lawyer. I am trying not to pre-judge, but the funny lawyer doesn't seem so funny on the phone. Even more discouraging, in my blind date experience, I find that things are always better on the phone than they are in person. When you factor in the nose hair, the short stature, premature intimacy, or any small but paramount detail I can focus on, there is always something that let's the air out of the baloon. We will see...
Thursday, December 02, 2004
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